What's so hard about Simple Living? Our advanced course gets you up to professional
status in no time. Never be bothered by salemen (or anyone) else again. Many
special features were obtained right here from simple living authors just
like you! Request our FREE class outline.
Visit our campus (pictured left) or take our FREE
online test (below) to see if you fit our exacting standards before applying.
Onsite Training not only available, but preferred, if you provide the u-haul.
We'll stick to you like glue until you are a screaming, simple minded success.
Our low cost payment plan has startled budget conscious simple liver's everywhere.
We take in laundry, post dated TS checks, barter, trade, cash, credit cards
(your own, please) and X-mates or mother-in-laws (No COD's).
Simple Liver's Motto: Just when you're feeling fed up, we'll show you there's nothing you can't stomach.
Referral Statement: from outstanding classmate, Purdilla Smuck "Simpler Liver's showed me that nothing's too simple minded for me. That, after taking only one look at who my relatives are!"
You can't expect to be a model of simple living without dressing appropriately.
We have all styles, sizes, new and used. In fact, we may already have your
old favorite in stock.
Her: mu-mu, slippers, hair curlers. Iron on Tattoo of anchor for right arm.
Him: 2 week old beard and T-shirt (add catsup stain for color), jeans, mismatched socks, mildew tennies
Our Checklist Test
We search the net for only the best, top rated simple liver techniques.
Take our course and/or subscirbe to our newsletter and see how simple minded
you can be in just a few short weeks.
See how many techniques you know!
1. House Cleaning: Save time by throwing refuse on floor. Sweep outside on windy days.
3. Laundry: Mix colors and whites for that even gray hue. All clothes match!
2. Food: If it's growing mold, wipe top scud off and throw in stew pot. 350 for 1/2 hr. Always feed husband first.
5. Dishes: Old plastic butter containers and tin cans make excellent
bowls. After using, visit neighbors dog. Leave implements until pot, bowls
and plastic spoons are licked clean.
4. Dental Plan: When she mouths off, proudly womp her on back. Stop
when she swallows phone. (No, tooth fairy does not give money for putting
her teeth under your pillow.) When he mouths off, use toilet bowl cleaner
on false teeth. (Don't forget to remove teeth from face. If teeth are not
false, need only remove once.)
7. Medical Plan: Take it like a man. Wait until it's to late
to do anything about it, then require total home nursing care. For her -
Alternative Medicine - home grown natural, herbal weeds that
resist wilting when combined with battery acid, old car oil, and spilt
radiator fluid are strong enough to cure anything that ails. If not you won't
know the difference after swallowing a few.
6. Home Schooling: Turn on TV. Switch channels when kids zone out. Listen for screaming to make sure they're still paying attention. Desciplining children: turn on Home Shopper Network.
8. Home Decorating: Feed kids sugar. Leave home for one hour. Return. Repeat as necessary.
10. Spirituality: Sunday is the day of rest. Sleep through as much of it as you can.
9. Budgeting: Neighbors large garage or basement is handy for storing
borrowed tools, lawn mower, snow blower, etc. They never go in there, anyway.
Have needs/wants prioritized on list when church aid, state welfare, relatives,
stray door2door salesmen, neighbors and friends come visiting.
Escape tunnel to neighbors garage is helpful when visitors list looks longer
than yours. Sponsor tupperware party,. Ask visitors to bring enough lunch
for two. Meet at door. Take food. Apologize for having the Flu. Call back
and re-organize when food is down to 1 day supply.
Results: If you can read or con someone into reading for you, you passed
the test. If you can sign your name on a check, you passed the test. This
amazing opportunity will only be online for a short while. Act Now. If you
don't have time to take the class and comment to us that you had the checklist
answers down pat, we'll send you a fine "We've had the Course" Simple Living
Certificate Of Achievement. Amaze company. It looks great next to that velvet
picture of Elvis that's been hiding old flyspecks on your wall for years
Discount: We know you have someone in mind who really fits this course,
perhaps your X-employer? Why not refer them now? Leave us a comment
below or send us their email address. We'll follow up before your pinky
has barely hit the return key! We'll even keep your name anonomous. Remember,
Simple Living is having the 'time' of our lives. Graphics by